Red Tape

Door:“Why it’s simply impassible”
Alice: “Why, don’t you mean impossible?”
Door: “No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing’s impossible!”
-Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the looking Glass

The Soviet footprint is still deep and visible in Today’s Russia.  I thought that it might be isolated to big government at this point but I vastly underestimated the “70 year road to nowhere” that was the Soviet Experience.  It’s everywhere.

My journey to this place has been a sort of post-soviet soap opera…  I first dipped my toe into the puddle of quicksand that is Russian Bureaucracy about three months ago now when I began the visa application process.  I had to simultaneously apply to St. Petersburg State University at Smolniy - СПбГУ (where I now study) and the government for sponsorship and approval to enter the country.  A visa to live/work/play in Russia cannot be obtained without a sponsor from inside the country, and the university sponsored me.  That first process took roughly six weeks start to finish but was practically painless for my part.  Applying for the visa itself on the other hand was a pain in the rump.  Ready for the saga?

The seven million question visa application covered all manner of minutia one could think of.  Once it was complete, naturally, I mailed it in only to receive and email stating that the paper application was no longer accepted and the Russian government had switched to an online version.  At least I knew how long it would take to fill out, right?  Wrong.  The “.ru” was horrific.  Each time I came close to finishing the application it would crash and start over or simply log me out for an indefinite period of time!  It took days to complete and email the paperwork but eventually it happened and the magical mysterious Russian government was finally at work on my visa.  I had one final step. 

               There is an AIDS/HIV epidemic here in Russia (apparently) and negative test results are required for a visa.  I emailed the results of my test to the company helping with my application so they could submit it with the rest of my paperwork.  I was surprised when I heard that the email was not (and I’m quoting here) “official looking enough”.  This was my first encounter with such thick bureaucracy and it was a bit of a shock.  It was not that big of a deal to obtain an “official looking” copy of the same results – it just seemed like an odd task to have to complete.  So I went back to the doctor who ran the test and asked the clerk to print out the exact same information on watermarked paper, stamp it with whatever random stamps were on his desk, and sign it.  If it was not “official enough” then, it never would be!  Take THAT Russian Bureaucracy!  (They did.)

               A few weeks later I received my visa in the mail!  SUCCESS!  A short lived success, but success none-the-less.  My visa expires before I finish my semester.  To extend my single entry visa and turn it into a multi-entry visa (Europe, watch out!) was yet another set of tasks neatly bundled by an extensive amount of red tape.  But not before I was registered with the city of St. Petersburg.

               Each city within Russia one travels to for more than perhaps a weekend one must register with the local government.  Hotels and hostels take care of the process for you if you pay them a small fee (which is totally worth not having to figure out how to do this alone) and relinquish your passport to them upon arrival.  I hated doing this.  I knew I had to but I felt entirely vulnerable letting go of my passport and knowing all forms of identification I now held were only valid in the United States – where I wasn’t.  At any rate, I was registered in St. Petersburg and could now start the process of extending my visa.

               There was no paperwork this time, but there was another HIV test. CIEE and hotel staff took us down to the basement in small groups to have this done.  Hotel staff had to be present as the basement is strictly off limits to guests (Which is entirely normal, right?  It’s just strange to me that such a matter-of-fact tone is taken in situations like this.  Нельзя, невозможно.  It is impossible for guests to go there.).  So down the long, winding corridor we went following the CIEE staffer and the hotel employee.  The floor was green linoleum and the walls were painted white brick.  The nurse was wearing a white dress, white stockings, white shoes… and a little white hat straight out of the 1950s.  What a trip…

               Well a few days later we were each given a справка (spravka) – an official photocopy of our passport and current visa with a note stating that our visa is in the process of being extension and is currently registered in St. Petersburg.  My passport will be returned to me once my visa is complete.  In October.  As for right now, I have an official form of identification here, even if it is a folded piece of computer paper with a photo copy of my visa on it.  It has a signature, so I guess it’s pretty official looking.

                

               There are more Soviet-isms to share but I will add those to later updates.  This post turned into something of a Dostoyevsky novel (Though I suppose that is rather fitting).